Why does the High Road to Happiness mean?
I am a CDC Certified Divorce Coach® and I believe that divorce does not define you and that your best life is ahead of you!
I have been through the worst of times when it comes to divorce. It is difficult to go through the shock that 1. The dream you had for your life is coming to an end, 2. You are worried about how this will effect your children, your family, your mutual friends, and 3. On top of all of that, you are so uncertain about your future.
The pain I felt in my divorce went very, very deep. I had not realized and was the last to know that I was not only losing my husband in divorce, that there was a reason why it was happening so abruptly and quick. The thing I did not know or see was that my soon to be ex-husband was seeing someone else. Not just any "someone else". What I didn't know is that I absolutely did know this person and my life was about to get really more complicated than I anticipated.
The person he was leaving me for was my closest friend. Yes, she was my best friend.
I had just experienced the ultimate betrayal.
And that my friends is what you call the "ultimate betrayal" and a double whammy! OUCH!
My daughter was 7 years old at that time. I was so filled with hurt and anger that some days just seemed impossible to get through. I was realizing that this ex-friend of mine was now going to be my daughter's step-mom and my mind was reeling!! It was almost too much to bear. My anger was mounting, my fear was setting in, and my new future was uncertain and grim. I was scared to death!
Right when I thought I couldn't take anymore...I had a HUGE epiphany and it was clear as day. I didn't know it at the time but it's called the High Road.
Somehow through all of the anger and pain for my ex and my ex-friend, I just knew deep in my soul that the absolute best thing for my daughter was for me to dig really deep --- deeper than I ever thought was possible and put her ahead of any anger, hurt, or vengeful feelings that I had. She had to come first at all costs. I could not let my feelings take over her childhood. I had to realize that "who cares about them" and "who cares about their new life" and "They deserve each other". All kinds of reasoning helped me through. But mostly, it was knowing deep in my heart and gut that that little girl deserved my best!! I was her Mom.
I want to be clear...THIS WAS NOT EASY TO DO on the out-set. But it was really easy to do when I looked at her little face. She deserved to have both a Mom and a Dad that loved her without her being in the middle. She did NOT deserve this for her life. She deserved a chance at true happiness in this new world she was being thrown into. It was not her fault...it was ours.
Taking the high road saved my daughter's life. That sounds dramatic but it is true. My divorce could have went a completely different direction and her life could have been ruined.
Taking the high road is definitely not always easy...but I guarantee that when you do so, it not only creates so many joyous moments to flood into your life but it also helps you look back in gratitude and be proud!
It is my firm belief that by using the tools and following my systems I created, that you will lead a wonderful life not only for yourself (Yes, I am happily married to the man of my dreams and living my best life now!) but also your children will flourish with the love of both parents and have a healthy, happy life as well!
It is my vision that you look back on the path you choose and be proud of where you were and where you are now. And it's not too late!! Wherever you are right now in the process...it is NOT TOO LATE to start taking the high road now!
It is also in my vision that we create you best life going forward filled with love, joy, and happiness!! You deserve it! Let's Do This Together!